Oh, dear sweet Sandra, we’re so glad you asked.
Rule Zero is the most important rule. It’s the one that is so important that it comes even before rule one, and it’s the rule that seems like it should be so self evident that it need never be said out loud. Just for you though, just for today, we’ll give out all the details. There are lots of variations on the wording of the rule, and we like all of them in their own little ways.
The Biblical version – Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
Wow, that version is a little high falootin’ but it sums things up fairly well. Let’s all treat each other as we’d like to be treated. Obviously this wording of the rule is prone to abuse by people who have different standards as to how they might like to be treated, but it’s a good start. Sometimes this version is called The Golden Rule. That reminds us a little too much of Donald Trump’s toilet though, so we prefer the name Rule Zero.
The Bill and Ted version – Be excellent to one another… and party on dudes!
It turns out that Keanu Reeves has had things locked down for quite a while, and this version of Rule Zero is a great example of that. If we’re all excellent to one another, that’s a great start. Andrew W.K. would approve of the addendum to the end too. For the record though, this rule applies equally to all genders, at least under our roof.
The simple and uplifting version – Let’s all make it our mission to make sure that everyone is having a good time.
It might sound a little bit happy clappy hippy dippy, but we love our customers, and want to make sure that everyone feels happy and safe while they are with us. We’re not asking our customers to fall over themselves to improve each others days, just that they try to avoid making anyone’s life more difficult. We don’t want to yuck anybody’s yum, and we hope that the same can be true of everyone else.
The brutally simple version – Don’t be a dick.
Hopefully this iteration of Rule Zero is the most offensive thing you’ll have to ever deal with at Rule Zero. We want everyone to have a good time all the time, and don’t want to have to have a colossal array of rules and policies to make that happen. If you are ever about to do something in our place, and you think that it might be breaking Rule Zero, there’s a good chance that it is. If everyone just tries to get along and follow this one rule, we’re confident everyone will have a stellar time, us included, so let’s all do that.